Ways to Maintain Consistency with Co-Parenting
Why Does Consistency Matter in Co-Parenting?
Divorce brings many changes for everyone — especially children. From new living arrangements to a possible new school, children must deal with various disruptions to life as they knew it. However, if you are co-parenting, maintaining as much consistency for your children is possible. By implementing the following tips, you can help your children better adjust to their new normal.
Communication is Key
The last person you probably want to communicate with is your former spouse. The animosity or other difficult feelings you experience must not transfer onto the parental partnership that remains in place.
Co-parenting with someone you may no longer like is necessary for ensuring your children the best care possible. In addition, communication about your children’s needs, issues, and other factors is crucial for consistency. A simple schedule change can affect everyone and is just one example of why communication is important.
Some concerns or issues may require a conversation without the children present. No matter what the topic, never place blame or use disrespect. Focus on the shared love for the children and communicate consistently.
Maintain Rules and Boundaries
It is understandable if your children express anger and other emotions due to the divorce. However, maintaining rules and boundaries established before the divorce can provide consistency to help manage such behavior.
You can also help them manage with their feelings by:
- Encouraging them to ask you questions and to talk about what they are feeling
- Keep negative thoughts about their other parent to yourself
- Do not discuss divorce proceedings before, during, or afterward with the child
- Maintain a routine as much as possible, including what is acceptable behavior and what is not
- Seek help from a child therapist or counselor if needed
Children should not deal with adult problems but rather receive support and encouragement. Consistency includes both parents adhering to the same rules and boundaries for children to preserve boundaries designed to help each child.
The same rules and boundaries must exist in both households, such as:
- Homework time
- Screen time
- Pet responsibilities
Applying an agreed-upon plan for these and other issues — including discipline — can create a consistency that helps children adjust to the changes. Co-parenting is a team approach that works best when parents put aside their differences. The effort is worth the reward for the children’s emotional and mental health during this stressful time.
Why Consistency is Important for Children
When children receive consistent messages from parents, they know what to expect and what they expect. This establishes a routine and helps children make better choices. Conversely, a lack of structure can cause the opposite: poor choices that cause everyone stress.
Sometimes, no matter how consistent you are with your co-parenting, children will still act out their emotions. They may test your resolve by throwing a tantrum or possibly food. Raising children is an exhausting and often frustrating job. It is also, however, enormously rewarding.
As children find their way in life, the co-parenting process is vital to their success. A healthy, loving environment, albeit in two separate homes, can help guide them to a bright future as long as there is consistency.
Consistency Helps Parents Too
The same consistency co-parenting can provide children can also help parents. The structure consistency brings to your daily life can make the day less stressful for everyone.
There is a calmness to a routine that can make:
- Mornings less chaotic
- Dinner time more relaxing
- Bedtime easier
Establishing the same foundation of consistency at both homes benefits everyone. Of course, not every day will go smoothly, and breakdowns in communication are bound to happen; however, parents who strive to implement the most consistently are on track for more good days than bad.
When Co-Parenting Consistency Fails
Consistency only works when both parents put forth the effort. A parent who is inconsistent with a child’s medication or other important issue is a serious matter.
If your child’s other parent is failing their co-parenting duties in a way that may seriously harm the child, contact us. At the Pedrick Law Group, our family lawyers understand California law as it applies to child custody issues.
Taking legal action is sometimes necessary when a child’s health or safety is at stake. The Pedrick Law Group helps families take action for matters involving co-parenting arrangements that are not working.
We can provide you with helpful resources for you and your child as we manage the legal details of your case. Co-parenting only works if both parents put forth the effort. If consistency is missing and negatively affecting your child’s life, let us help you.
Get Help From the Pedrick Law Group Today
Contacting our office is an important first step toward getting help for your situation. A lawyer from our team can evaluate your case and determine the best course of action for you and your child.
Divorce and parenting are both significant stressors — a failed co-parenting plan only adds to your stress. Our team is compassionate and caring. We acknowledge that issues involving your children are of the utmost importance to you.
The Pedrick Law Group acts swiftly to find a resolution to your situation. In addition, we provide a free case evaluation, leaving you nothing to lose by reaching out to us today.
Family law is sometimes challenging and best left to legal professionals. You have enough to deal with as you manage your daily tasks. Let us remove the burden of your co-parenting issue by reviewing your case today.
Quick action on your part can help us, help you sooner. Delaying a call to our office in hopes that your situation will improve can cost you precious time. The Pedrick Law Group is easy to contact, either online or by calling our Orange County office at 949-353-5934 or our Encino office at 818-217-8744.