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Waiting to divorce may not have the effects people want

Divorce is never an easy subject to approach, even for two adults with mature respect for each other. It is certainly not easier with children. On top of the concrete arrangements for custody and support, communicating the emotional depth of a decision to get a divorce is difficult when communication may not be a married couple's strong suit.

Parents often feel the pressure to stay together until children are adults. People want to create and maintain a healthy and loving home for children going through formative phases in life like puberty and high school. But this effort may not lead to the results for which parents are sacrificing their happiness.

"They're so much better now than they ever were when they were together," the adult daughter of a divorced couple said. "I wish they had gotten divorced sooner, because then we would have gotten to this point sooner."

One of the dangers of trying to "stick it out" is that parents must wake up every day in a life they wish they could change. This can lead to consequences worse than a fast divorce, like simmering anger with which everyone must live. Eventually, a parent may get tired of going through the motions and leave with more pain and trouble than other ways to separate.

People considering a separation or divorce in California should also consider legal representation to take care of their interests in court or documents related to the motion. An attorney can help point out the realities of divorces and help consult on how to react to these needs.

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