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3 tips for collaborative co-parenting after divorce

Divorce is a fraught and difficult time, especially when you have children. The decisions made during the divorce with regard to parenting are some of the most important decisions you and your former spouse will make for the future of your family.

Although divorce may be the only viable option for you and your spouse personally, it is still important to make your best effort to maintain a healthy parenting relationship with your children. While you may parent separately, that does not mean that the parenting has to be conflictual. Here are three tips to help you cultivate an effective co-parenting situation with your former spouse:

1. Strive for open communication with your ex

Despite the disagreements that may have existed between you and your ex during your marriage, to be an effective co-parent, you need to maintain open communication. This may be easier said than done, but the benefits will definitely pay off. Your children will do better if you and your ex are on the same page in terms of parenting styles, schedules, expectations and discipline. While you may parent differently, if you openly communicate, you can resolve differences before they erupt into conflict.

2. Make modifications to your child custody order, if you need to

Nothing is ever set in stone in the post-divorce phase, because many different life factors can change as time goes on. If you need to modify your child custody order for any reason, for example, if there is a change such as a pending move or a new marriage, you should contact a qualified family law attorney. Keep in mind that you can seek legal advice at any time after your divorce settlement if you need assistance with legal issues related to co-parenting or other details of your court order.

3. Keep your children at the forefront of all decisions

Although divorce is an emotional situation for you and your ex, your children deserve your full attention in all your parenting decisions. That means you will benefit if you put your children first when making decisions together with your ex regarding parenting and your family. 

Co-parenting can be difficult and takes a lot of compromise and hard work, but the end result will be valuable for your children and their future. Allowing your kids to cultivate a relationship with both you and your ex is vital to their wellbeing and will help them move forward from the divorce.

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