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Seeking revenge after filing for divorce may backfire

Deciding to end a marriage can come about for many reasons. Some California residents may find themselves filing for divorce because a spouse had an affair or otherwise hurt them in a significant way. Many people may even find the divorce filing itself hurtful if it seemed unexpected. As a result, it is not unusual for individuals to enter into this process feeling emotionally charged.

Because the outcomes of divorce can have major impacts on life for many years, individuals often want to work toward the most beneficial settlements possible. However, if someone is feeling hurt and vengeful, he or she may think that fighting for settlement terms that cause hardships for the other person will make for a satisfying outcome. This idea may not work out the way one might hope.

Constantly disagreeing with proposed terms and continually making the process more difficult in hopes of hurting the other party can actually hurt everyone involved. The legal proceedings can drag on for years in some cases, and the costs of the process can increase significantly. Additionally, individuals who try to keep as many of the assets as possible or deny the other parent custody as way of revenge may find later that these choices were more damaging than expected.

Though filing for divorce can be hard, it is not necessarily a tool for revenge. If California residents feel that their emotions may get in the way of their decision making during this time, they may want to explore ways to help keep themselves on track and better understand how certain decisions could impact their lives. Conferring with their legal counsel could help interested parties create and stick to a plan of action while moving through the legal proceedings.

Source:, "5 Reasons Why Divorce Is Not Revenge", Morghan Leia Richardson, Feb. 12, 2018

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